When Shame Keeps You Responsible for Everyone Else

Sarah’s Story

Sarah learned early that love meant responsibility.

When her mother was sad, Sarah felt guilty.

When something went wrong, Sarah blamed herself.

Not because she was weak—but because staying connected felt more important than being free.

What looked like care was actually survival.

The Quiet Weight of Shame

Shame didn’t shout.

It whispered.

“If I’m better, she won’t be sad.”

“If I take this on, I won’t lose her.”

“If it’s my fault, at least I have control.”

Shame kept Sarah focused outward—on managing emotions that weren’t hers—while slowly disconnecting her from herself.

Over time, life became about pleasing, fixing, and carrying pain that never belonged to her.

Understanding Isn’t the Same as healing.

Sarah could explain her past clearly. She knew where the pattern came from.

But knowing didn’t stop it.

The real question wasn’t why this happened—it was:

What is happening inside her right now when she takes responsibility?

That’s where shame lives.

Not in memory, but in the present moment.

From Survival to Agency

A shift began when Sarah stopped asking,

“What’s wrong with me?”

and started asking,

“What am I asking myself to do here and now?”

This question didn’t create more shame.

This question created choice.

Why NARM Sessions Help

We work with:

    •    the survival strategies that once protected you

    •    the shame that kept you small

    •    the fear of losing connection if you choose yourself

You’re supported to:

    •    reconnect with your adult self

    •    separate without abandoning

    •    experience agency without self-blame

    •    build relationships that don’t require self-erasure

It’s about understanding what’s been running your life—and giving you a new experience and options here and now.

If you recognize yourself in Sarah’s story, something important is already happening.

You’re noticing the cost of survival.

Booking a NARM session is not a commitment to change everything overnight.

It’s a commitment to explore—safely, respectfully, at your pace—what becomes possible when shame no longer runs the relationship.

👉 If you’re ready to stop surviving and start living, book a NARM session.

Not because you’re failing—but because you’re ready for something different.