NARM - NeuroAffektive Relational Model

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Healing from the heart

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Trauma is not only what happened to you, but also the heartache that often accompanies and follows trauma.

Many of us experienced relational trauma in our childhood, which led us to disconnect from our emotions in order to survive. We may have experienced unmet needs, emotional neglect, or chronic misfit by those we loved most.

To cope, we learned to suppress our feelings and disconnect from our bodies, creating survival patterns that limit our ability to connect and flourish.

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Reconnecting with the heart

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The fundamental practice of NARM is to explore what the heart truly desires, often asking, ‘What do you really want for yourself?’ to uncover deep, authentic longings rather than superficial goals.

When you embark on this journey of discovery, you take an important step towards reconnecting with your heart and discovering the vitality that has long been buried under trauma. ​

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NARM principles 

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Healing happens in relationships.

As a NARM practitioner, I create an environment characterised by genuine curiosity, shame-free acceptance and heartfelt empathy, empowering my clients to reconnect with their hearts and embrace their wholeness.

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Top-down and Bottom-up  

NARM sees the mind (our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs) and the body as deeply connected. It works with both bottom-up (awareness that starts in the body) and top-down (using the mind to make sense of body signals) approaches. If we only use a top-down method, we ignore the body and emotions. If we only focus on the body, the feelings and sensations can be overwhelming without the help of our thinking mind to organize and understand them. Bringing both together is what makes NARM therapy powerful, leading to real, embodied change.

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Rediscovering Aliveness 

NARM is based on the idea that, when obstacles are removed, we naturally move toward health, connection, and vitality. These obstacles are the survival strategies we once relied on, which now limit or disconnect us from our lifeforce energy. The idea of lifeforce comes from Bioenergetics, developed by Alexander Lowen, a student of Wilhelm Reich. The Adaptive Survival Styles in NARM are seen as distortions of the lifeforce.

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Developmentally-Informed  

Our emotional and psychological abilities grow in stages during childhood and adolescence. When the needs of a stage are not met, these abilities become weakened. The Adaptive Survival Styles are groups of strategies we create in response to these “environmental failures.” These limitations can build up over time, much like ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). If our earliest needs are not met, it becomes harder to handle the challenges of later stages. When the environment continues to fail in meeting a child’s developmental needs, the damage increases. As a consequence we keep functioning as adults with a diminished aliveness. 

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The NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM)  

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NARM is an integrated mind-body framework that identifies and treats the complex ways childhood trauma can manifest in interpersonal difficulties, maladaptive patterns, identity issues, and disrupted affect regulation.

It was created by Dr. Laurence Heller, PhD Psychologist and Psychotherapist, with many years of clinical experience. NARM combines ideas from attachment theory, polyvagal theory, gestalt, cognitive and somatic approaches and psychodynamic approaches.

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Publications

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•  Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship (2012) by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre

•  The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma: Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model to Address Adverse Childhood Experiences and Resolve Complex Trauma (2022) by Brad Kammer and Laurence Heller

•  Entwicklungstrauma heilen: Alte Überlebensstrategien lösen – Selbstregulation und Beziehungsfähigkeit fördern (2013) by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre

•  Praxisbuch Entwicklungstrauma heilen: Wege zur Auflösung von Beziehungs-, Selbst- und Emotionsstörungen (2022) by Brad Kammer and Laurence Heller

•  Befreiung von Scham und Schuld: Alte Überlebensstrategien auflösen und die eigene Lebenskraft wiederfinden (2022) by Laurence Heller and Angelika Doerne